Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
