I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
