his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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