I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
