420 ftw
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
