Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
