Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just google imaged poop.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I want is dick and wine.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
