i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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