when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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