But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
