His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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