Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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