This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
