There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My balls are so social today.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
