Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your cock deserves a montage
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize