If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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