A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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