i can't believe i had my finger in that
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
