he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You were trust falling into bushes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
