Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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