how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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