I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My feet surprised me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
