...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize