Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
