I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
