Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Never underestimate the power of titties
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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