I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
