Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
