What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
