some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
