its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
