Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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