He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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