I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
