My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
