if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm like, not good at living.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
