I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
