Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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