can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
