Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
