The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
