Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
