Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
