So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
