if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nutella sex= disaster
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
