its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
