Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
