He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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