Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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