Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will pee on everything he values.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
