Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
