when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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