he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
