In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
