No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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