Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
