it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
