will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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