I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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