I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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