real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
