OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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