I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
