Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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